So... long time no post. Not gonna fill in anything either (My livejournal just did about a 2 year timeskip, w00t)

My hair is now orange and Friday I'm heading to San Japan. Running a table all friday (gotta be there at fucking 9 a.m... wtf?) but it should be awesome. Gotta love being part of a random group in San Antonio (even though I live in San Marcos atm... hmmmm...)

Got an interview for a new job (doing tech support again yay) tomorrow at 11... yay.

yeah... didn't get it together... and is a bit of a hassle.

Could bring the Laughing Man, but it'd be damn hot.

DAMN HOT.

So yeah.

Fission Mailed.

I decided to get back into WoW. Found out my main on Thorium Brotherhood was still rich as hell (W was a gold buyer and gave me all his gold when he quit), and was still awesome in other ways.

I made a character on Andrea's server too, so yay. Gogo Gnomish Warlock of Doom (DOOOOOOOOOM)

So, here's what I know from my end

1. I'm bringing 3 people with me (W, Wes's younger brother and his friend) up in a RV/Van deal.
2. I'll be cosplaying as Saito from Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. I will need help getting it ready.
3. I'll probabnly be have enough money to get a couple small things, that's it.

Also... does anyone even use this anymore?

So yeah... W got me the tickets.... awesomeness

I kinda know what I'm gonna do for a cosplay... but then I thought of what I consider the best idea ever...

I play this webbrowser game, Kingdom of Loathing (kingdomofloathing.com), and I wanna do a cosplay off it for one day.

I have 2 parts of it already (f3d0r4 and can make the 11337 7r0uZ0RZ easily) and can think up the others....

Also, going as Saito for one of the days. I'll get the eyepatch made somehow. And figure out how to keep it on... somehow.

I do these weird line drawings in class... thought I might throw one up and see how people like it...

http://argoti.deviantart.com/

So, I'll be going as the Laughing Man (Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex) though I don't know if I'll do the mask or not... gotta find a handheld fan first, and there don't seem to be many in the middle of the winter...

I SHOULD have money this time around, so maybe I'll get some stuff... maybe.

I still need to know where we're staying and how much to give Jody.

I think we're gonna take W's car... though I might take my car if people need help getting up there.

BTW, my new car kicks ass. '94 Chevy Cavalier, black, with a fucking SPOILER.

Oh, and it came with counterfiet plates.

But that's a story for another day.

Current Mood: ecstatic

So, I am going.

W is too.

He got 2 tickets for his b-day, and he's taking me.

Fuck YEAH!!!!

Car busted, two people in the house, quit my old job, no plans or motivation, or ability, to go to college... Nothing's the way it should be.

A cascade failure of my life seems to be happening...

I swear I'm not completely ands utterly obsessed with star Wars...

I mean, come on! Only 89%

Yeah, today was the last straw. Put in my two week notice at Blockbuster. Working a double, not having transportation for next week... still making shit pay... fuck that jazz...

I can work for my stepdad, longer hours, $10 an hour.... free lunch and shit. Good times.

And it's only half a mile away.

<tr><td>

You scored as Komamura Sajin. You're Komamura Sajin, Captain of the Seventh Division! Your friends are very important to you. In fact, if one of them becomes distant, you will definitely find out what's wrong and try to fix it. Despite this dedication to your friends, you might hide things from them, and from everyone in general, because you fear that you might be rejected for some aspect of who you really are. </td> Komamura Sajin 100% Hitsugaya Toushirou 92% Kuchiki Byakuya 83% Aizen Sousuke 75% Kyouraku Shunsui 75% Unohana Retsu 67% Ichimaru Gin 67% Ukitake Jyuushiro 67% Soi Fong 58% Tousen Kaname 58% Yamamoto Genryuusai 50% Kurotsuchi Mayuri 42% Zaraki Kenpachi 33% Which of the Thirteen Division Captains (from Bleach) are you? created with QuizFarm.com

So... yeah. I had gotten a $100 Amazon gift certificate for my birthday, and put it to good use...

Unfortunately, most of the stuff was shipped USPS.

They are delivering them all (as far as I can tell... they missent some of my info to me and all... dah) but I had told the post office to drop the stuff off on my porch.

Well... they have a different idea what that means.

Yesterday I got a delivery notice... I called the office, ranted, went online and set a redelivery date for today.

The deliverer came by today, and left me a post-it note, attached to a Dell magazine, saying she would "Bring my package by after work."

Now, it would seem to me that the deliverers job would be to deliver something WHILE AT WORK...

They piss me off so much.

Fucking lazy ass government sons and daughters of bitches, bastards, and motherfuckers....

So yeah. Had to work on my birthday.

Atleast I got money.

Yay money.

Current Mood: indifferent

Sigh. Why do my thoughts always draw back to either Allison or Erica?

I'm trapped in the past. The heart hardened by lack of caring, suddenly hit by wounds it barely acknowledged... and years t late to fix anything.

Maybe it's that all the girls I know are taken... atleast the interesting ones that aren't total whores.

I just want some nice girl, with a good personality and a better brain.

It seems too much to ask... maybe not. Maybe it's that I don't look. I'm too damned comfortable where I'm at...

Maybe my looking back is my longing to be forgiven. I don't want to be hated, it's the worst feeling.

I guess I am emo... except for the black clothing and the wrist-slashing... I'm not a coward... or too much of one.

I'm too damn confusing, too damn confused.

I want to know who I really am...

Why can't life have a strategy guide, a F.A.Q... spoilers on what's really going on with the main character?

Because that'd be too easy... And Pain teaches us better when it affects us.

Hmmmmmmm...

Current Mood: contemplative

It seems my life keeps losing meaning. Friends drift away, things that were important become less so, I just exist, I don't enjoy.

Oh heart, chilled by inactivity, you slowly die.

I look around, and as always see couples. Or groups. Things I long to be in, yet hate and avoid.

Death of heart brings death of mind, death of mind brings death of body.

I'm getting sick. I don't know why. Partly might be my diet, sure, but this is much worse than that.

I am not exaggerating about my heart dying. I get... pains, every so often. They're getting more frequent.

Are they pains of sickness or pains of longing?

Perhaps I should clean up, while I still have the ability to care.

Perhaps I should give up caring, for change is pain.

Pain is God. Pain is Teacher. Pain is Life.








Heh, why do I try. One person reads, and, try as she might, bless her, she can't help.

Maybe no-one can.

Maybe this is my destiny.

Hmmmm... Fight destiny? Can't fight that which doesn't exist.

Walk the path.

Why the fuck do I use this. It's obvious nobody looks.

I might have to get rid of it. No point if nobody cares.

So... yeah. Out of the original 5 that were in on this house, one racked up debt with his parents and isn't coming in, one's grandmother is apparently gonna go apeshit at some of the work I gotta do here (there is some, like... a missing wall in the bathroom....) another is wasting his last $150 at the Austin Film Festival, and is waiting a few months as he gets a job.

So it's me and Dewey.

Suddenly this shit's not nearly as good as it was.

/sigh

Current Mood: crushed

So me and dewey are here, chilling. It's kinda bare, but meh.

Best part, besides the awesome sound proofing... is the awesome connection.

Does 550 kb/s mean anything to you?

Yeah. Had a nice long walk today at 2 a.m... Did some thinking. Thinking involves using my brain, which drags up memories... all of which are Pain.

Pain is my God. It is my Teacher. It is my Life.

I'm of no use to anyone. Can't give advice for crap, though people still ask me, have no talents, can't figure out what I can do, what I want to do, who I want to be with, anything.

Andrea doesn't deserve me. She doesn't deserve a lot of things. Dunno how I got on her good side or how I managed to stay on it.

I deserve what Allison put me through, and what thoughts of her do to me everyday.

I deserve having got in contact with Erica, then not hearing from her after a couple days. My stupidity is reaping it's rewards.

My Grandfather, may he rest in peace, deserved a far better grandson than me.

I'm worthless... so worthless.

Can't die though, not yet, not ever. I might find worth, but not in death...